In my blog titled “Water and Oil” I made a statement, and I quote:” The length of your relationship is determined by your commitment, but the quality of your relationship is determined by your character”
I also used the following analogy. “If you want your relationship to work; If you want an endearing, passionate and loving relationship, you and your partner must become something new. 1+1=2, you cannot remain a 1, you must evolve and become a 2. This is true for all relationships. Even if you leave your current relationship, you will still have to change and become a 2. You will still be water and your new partner will still be oil. You will never be fulfilled, stretched or grow if you and your partner are both water and oil”.
The 1, in this analogy is a metaphor for the differences between men and woman, but in this blog, it will be a metaphor for who you are being in the relationship. The play between masculinity and femininity creates passion, balance and synergy between partners. Masculinity in men and femininity in woman are essential energies to become the proverbial 2. The 2 in this context representing the ultimate relationship filled with Love, passion, and connection.
Society has a skewered ideology of what true masculinity and femininity are. Men either use force to exercise their “dominance” in a relationship, but all they do is become bastards, or they cower to please their woman and become the womans bee with an itch. Woman either become very controlling and bitchy or compliant, submissive or browbeaten.
The feminine is not attracted to bastards, nor to weakness. The Masculine is not attracted to bitchy or compliant woman. If you are having relationship problems, it could be that you are being a bastard or a bee wiht an itch.
As an example, can you see how a controlling stifling strategy (1) plus an bastard strategy (1) can never lead (=) to love, connection, soul-filled passion (2)? These strategies are weapons and weapons are tools of war and war is a strategy to divide and conquer, that leads to divorce. Couples need to bury their weapons of war. They need to declare peace and create a “peace treaty” for their relationship. This requires vulnerability, healing, vision, commitment, dedication, integrity, character and authenticity, and lots and lots of forgiveness, patience and understanding.
I am sure this goes without having to say it. Stop being an bastard or a bee with an itch. Your willingness to do this is reflected in your commitment to the relationship.